When I was growing up in the Greater NYC area during the 80s, a maximum of two showers were the norm. A bride may expect one with family and friends and another at the workplace. As I entered into my 20s, this changed drastically. Now, the expectations are as follows:
- Bridal Shower x 2 Minimum
- Groom Shower x 2 Minimum
- Couples' Shower
- Stock the Bar Shower
Am I missing anything on the list of shower themes? Probably so.
Don't get me wrong. As long as it isn't abused or consumed heavily by someone who's about operate heavy machinery, I have no problem with alcohol. I'm from a stereotypical Irish family, after all. Even so, are these people freaking kidding with the stock the bar events? Unfortunately, not.
As if being a wedding guest isn't costly, the wedding party have to worry about multiple shower gifts AND the wedding gift. A bridesmaid, for example, already dishes out a minimum of $150 (pre-alterations) on average for a gown she'll stuff in the back of her closet, jewelry, hair, makeup, bachelorette party and travel.
When my husband and I got married nearly 12 years ago, the multiple showers were becoming popular. I requested not to have a single one. We were planning what was virtually the anti-wedding, and we wanted "our day" to be a minimal burden for our guests. We felt badly asking for much, considering many of them already had to make travel arrangements to NYC for the nuptial. The last thing we wanted to do was add to their travel and lodging expenses by registering for wedding gifts and inviting them to numerous showers.
Why do other couples expect others to break the bank just because THEY make the decision to tie the knot? I've heard multiple arguments on each side, and the entitlement mentality side of the argument is truly eye-opening.
What's your take?
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