Contribute to Our Alcoholism Shower

'Tis the season for weddings.  However, first, come the wedding showers.  For well over a decade now, narcissism appears to be on the rise in the form of these showers, and the shock of it hasn't worn off for me.

When I was growing up in the Greater NYC area during the 80s, a maximum of two showers were the norm.  A bride may expect one with family and friends and another at the workplace.  As I entered into my 20s, this changed drastically.  Now, the expectations are as follows:

• Bridal Shower x 2 Minimum
• Groom Shower x 2 Minimum
• Couples' Shower
• Stock the Bar Shower

Really?  A stock the bar party?  It's difficult to imagine something tackier than asking for people to contribute to your alcoholism.

Am I missing anything on the list of shower themes?  Probably so. 

Don't get me wrong.  As long as it isn't abused or consumed heavily by someone who's about operate heavy machinery, I have no problem with alcohol.  I'm from a stereotypical Irish family, after all.  Even so, are these people freaking kidding with the stock the bar events?  Unfortunately, not.

As if being a wedding guest isn't costly, the wedding party have to worry about multiple shower gifts AND  the wedding gift.  A bridesmaid, for example, already dishes out a minimum of $150 (pre-alterations) on average for a gown she'll stuff in the back of her closet, jewelry, hair, makeup, bachelorette party and travel.

When my husband and I got married nearly 12 years ago, the multiple showers were becoming popular.  I requested not to have a single one.  We were planning what was virtually the anti-wedding, and we wanted "our day" to be a minimal burden for our guests.  We felt badly asking for much, considering many of them already had to make travel arrangements to NYC for the nuptial.  The last thing we wanted to do was add to their travel and lodging expenses by registering for wedding gifts and inviting them to numerous showers.

Why do other couples expect others to break the bank just because THEY make the decision to tie the knot?  I've heard multiple arguments on each side, and the entitlement mentality side of the argument is truly eye-opening.

What's your take?

Comfort Zone

Courage happens to be a core value at the organization I work for.  One of the topics covered in a department meeting this morning was about stepping out of one's comfort zone and having the courage to speak up, even if it's in opposition to the decision of a superior. 

The decision I made soon after this meeting is not courageous, but I am certainly stepping away from my comfort zone.  I resigned from a very stable job.  

You really do assess your priorities, when you become a parent.  And, I've been trying to make choices that are best for my family.  I realize that in the grand scheme of things, my decision does not trump the important ones that many of us have to face every day.  It barely even makes my own top 10.  But, hours later, I am still trying to convince my heart that it is the right decision. 

Although my current role is challenging, it is very comfortable.  I report to someone I adore and respect, which is rare, and work with a team that I'm quite fond of.  The problem is:  I know I can offer more.  My manager's boss is even aware of this.  However, given the amount of bureaucracy, it will take years before I can step into a role to do so.

I have accepted an offer to work for a company headquartered in another city, while remaining in the city I reside in currently.  Managing a department from another state will offer challenges all its own.  However, this opportunity also offers the flexibility of working remotely and reducing a lengthy commute for my spouse and me.

One of the reminders from my brain is that you'll never know what's on the other side, unless you take the leap.  For any of you who has ever stepped outside of your comfort zone, did you regret it, or did you learn and gain more than you imagined?